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It's been a long time since I've cried.

This video was taken back on October 2013. This is almost a year after my loss. I am talking about the beginning of the foundation and our first event. I talk about little Tomas, a baby whose life was saved after I shared Jalen's story. His mom contacted me all the way from Greece. When he came home from the hospital, he wore a shirt that read, " JALEN FOUGHT FOR ME".

When you lose a baby, people often judged you for the way you grief. You are either not crying enough or crying too much. You lose friends and people make you feel like you are going crazy. In this video, I grab Jalen's sock monkey and embrace it with so much pain and love. I carried his monkey and urn with me for months.

The first year after loss is the survival year. I am proud of how far we have come with the foundation. We have helped over $3,000 families with our services. It's been a long time since I've cried for my Jalen. I still love him and think about him literally every day. I have learned to celebrate his short life and live my life with twice as much passion.

I hope if you are watching video it brings you the comfort to know that you are not crazy and all of the feelings that you are feeling are normal.

It's Okay to not be okay.

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